are so perfect
I can hardly believe
their lapped light crowding
Nobody could count all of them —
the muskrats swimming
among the pads and the grasses
can reach out
their muscular arms and touch
only so many, they are that
rife and wild.
But what in this world
I bend closer and see
how this one is clearly lopsided —
and that one wears an orange blight —
and this one is a glossy cheek
half nibbled away —
and that one is a slumped purse
full of its own
Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled —
to cast aside the weight of facts
and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking
into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing —
that the light is everything — that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.
I saw these guys -meaning Noah Georgeson and Devendra Banhart- back in 2006 maybe 2005, I should remember because, being Autumn a time to cleanse, let go of stuff and so on and so forth, I was sorting out my papers today. This resonated with me so much because I had just moved to London about 2 years before I heard this song in concert, where was it? I CAN’T REMEMBER. Moving away from home is NEVER never NEVER easy, even if it’s voluntary. I can’t event start to imagine how it is for people who have to immigrate for political reasons.
My very dear auntie passed away yesterday. The pain took me by surprise and I covered it with emotional upset. I am now beginning to connect to a more spacious and more loving place. I feel thankful and deeply humbled by this reminder of constant change and transformation. Om Om Om. Peace Peace Peace.
In Blackwater Woods by Mary Oliver
Look, the trees are turning their own bodies into pillars
of light, are giving off the rich fragrance of cinnamon and fulfillment,
the long tapers of cattails are bursting and floating away over the blue shoulders
of the ponds, and every pond, no matter what its name is, is
nameless now. Every year everything I have ever learned
in my lifetime leads back to this: the fires and the black river of loss whose other side
is salvation, whose meaning none of us will ever know. To live in this world
you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it
against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
Today was a glorious day and as I was walking though the Meadows in Edinburgh, I saw a group of people practicing Capoeira and so I stood looking for a moment at all the movements and the amazing pirouettes, kicks, summersaults and hand stands. Not very far from them was another spectator, who was about 4 years old. He was doing the same moves with his small hands and legs. Coincidentally on the other side of the Meadows another little boy was practicing wheel pose and he was trying to come back to headstand and do a backflip but he failed. So he tried again and failed and tried again; which of course reminds me of Samuel Beckett’s phrase “Fail again, fail better”. What was so beautiful about this was to see the freedom to take risks, the lack of fear and the trust in himself and the trust in his body. As adults we become more fearful, less free and we take less risks if any at all. Perhaps we need to connect more often to that deep sense of trust in ourselves that kids have in abundancePhoto by Andrea Cañón http://www.andreacanon.com